Author: Shane

I am a family man of God first and foremost. I love my wife, two sons and daughter very much. After this, my life pretty much revolves around technology, music, writing, poetry, drums, dancing, singing, building up, and unifying others. I love learning, pro-actively gaining experience through what I've learned, then sharing the joy of my experience with others. My life is dedicated to loving and serving my Lord, through helping and blessing others.

Proper Preparation for Partaking of the Sacrament

Spiritual and Physical Healing from Sin and Weaknesses

When I read the words of God, given through the spirit of prophecy and of revelation, as inspiration to and through the prophets, by means of the gift and power of the Holy Ghost, I am partaking of the Spirit, or rather, nature of the Lord. Each word, placed beside the other ones, has been called, chosen, and set apart there, to be on the page before us, to view into our minds, hearts, and souls. This literal integral lingual aligning of our characteristics with Christ’s character, is because the words come forth from His body, His lips, His bowels, filled with his mercy. His bones and sinews, His heart and mind, His blood itself, spoken forth, from his everlasting fountain of life, love, and truth. Straight from His perfected spirit, body, and glorious, resurrected eternal soul!

When I fill up on this, His words, coming from the literal bread of his body, and water, from the literal blood of His soul, His works and words are carried forth into my soul, and are thus the very essence of the Lord, spiritually changing and preparing me for partaking of the sacrament. By feeding my spirit and nourishing my soul, through His healing words, I am aligning my own soul to His healthiness and righteousness. By drawing upon this wellspring of His holy and glorious life and character, I am also brought back, little by little, into His presence, by becoming more like Him.

Then, when I partake of the sacrament, an ordinance blessed by God Himself, and not the priest (Oh God, the Eternal Father, we ask Thee, in the name of Thy Son Jesus Christ, to bless and sanctify this…), then I am finishing, or completing the transformation “from water to wine,” so to speak, of my sins, weaknesses and unhealthiness, into a healed, clean, and better, holier version of myself, now ready to move forward and continue in, on the everlasting process of change. Thus, fulfilling the physical aspect of my healing. For we are first spiritually healed, before it is likewise physically manifest. For, if we want to heal spiritually from our sins and weaknesses, as well as physically, then we first need to prepare our spirits, by reading the words of God, feeding, and healing us spiritually, making us worthy to partake of the holy sacrament ordinance, which will then heal us spiritually and physically.

Note: Because all born into this earth life, have accepted Christ in their spirits, in the pre-earthly realms, they have claim upon the atonement spiritually, because they did so in their spirits, but until they accept Him again in the flesh, by joining His Church and Kingdom here on the earth, can their physical bodies also be cleansed by the Sacramental ordinance.

Shane

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Releasing The Voice Within

Envision a Future, Full of the Past

What if the very gifts and talents given you, could springboard your pathway from tragedies besought in life, to healing and recovery? Wow! A God of wonders and order, who uses the very gifts and talents we developed in the premortal realms, under His tutelage, to place us in the circumstances in life, which would be the very means of freeing us from vice, and help us become better, and ultimately like Him!

All along our adventure, we develop characteristics He knows we need. We go through experiences, and learn to overcome, so we can develop and grow, and learn to fulfill the measure of our creation.

As for discovering and recognizing my gifts, I had to first unlock the language of music and time, from both before to beyond, to uncover a most valuable, hidden treasure, which I could then use to bless myself and others.

It all started when I was 21. I had a beloved friend, who noticed me tapping on things all the time. He recognized this as a drummer’s trait, and asked me if I’d like to buy his old drum kit to get started. I was very excited, and we got to work!

He showed me the correct way to set up a kit, and taught me the proper way to hold the drumsticks. From there, I sat and practiced, playing what was already in my head. I never took lessons, or played along to any music. I was sufficiently inspired creatively, to teach myself. I just pounded out the music in my soul the best I could, and played until it came forth right.

Because of this, I know I’m a true musician, however uneducated, yet I have all the gifts I need to pursue this as a hobby, or even a side project to produce additional income.

All along my drummer’s journey, I’ve discovered so much about myself, life and others. I’m emotionally, mentally and spiritually blessed and enriched because of this. And through this, I’ve unattached, released, and cast out and away all of the many unwelcome demonic elements in me, never to return, through addressing each and every unhealthy portion, beat by beat. For some “substances” can only be gotten out physically first, before they can be emotionally addressed and released.

Since then, I’ve learned so much, and understand things in the spiritual realms, which strengthen my testimony, of which I could not have known, save I were to have this thinner spiritual veil, in lieu of my mental illnesses, and have released the unhealthiness in me, through pounding on the drums. Now I have finally found, and released from within me, my true voice. Thanks be to God for the Gift of the Holy Ghost, spiritual gifts, and the drums!

Shane

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Adam and Eve Simplified

How it Really Happened

The grass and herbs of the field were created with seeds already in them, except for the flowers and fruit trees for mankind, which were not, but were created in heaven, and then were hand transplanted into the garden of Eden. These trees would produce fruit spontaneously, all throughout the years, without any off season, as the garden had a perfect climate, always.. Only the fruit from the forbidden fruit tree had seeds in it already, and of course, Adam and Eve were commanded not to partake of it, for they would surely die, and they would, only having their lives extended, because of our Savior’s blessings to us, of offering His sinless body for our sins.

The animals were to eat of every clean herb for meat, which were created with seeds already in them, as was stated before, after their kind.

God commanded the animals to be fruitful and multiply, which commandment would have been void unto them, if it were to be contingent upon Adam and Eve’s decision to partake of the forbidden fruit, which made their bodies capable of having seed (children).

This because then they couldn’t have multiplied, except Adam and Eve should have fallen. But the animal’s commandment and responsibility to be fruitful and multiply, was given to them separately, and at a separate time than Adam and Eve’s. See Moses 2:22

The animals were not created with the ability to have offspring, as were not Adam nor Eve, however, the plants which were created with seeds already in them, which the animals were commanded to eat for meat, caused them to be able to have seed and multiply.

The fruits of the trees which were meet for mankind, were previously created in heaven, and were then taken and hand transplanted into the Garden of Eden, for Adam and Eve to partake of, and had all the nutrients their bodies needed, to thrive, and not need meat from animals. This because the appendix in their bodies was created to produce the proteins needed from the fruits which they were given to be meat for Adam and Eve. Also, when speaking about the fruit in these trees, the Lord said, [as it was termed, whose seed “should be,” and also, “shall be” in itself.] See Moses 2:11,29 Meaning, that their seeds would not come to be, until the ground and earth were changed, from Adam and Eve partaking of the fig tree, which was the only tree in the garden, which had seeds. This tree which gave them knowledge, by closing the veil upon them, separating them from the eternal presence of Good, and placing them in a probationary state, to be saved only by our Savior, who is Christ the Lord, gave them all the needful opportunities thru would need to learn, in a way only which mortality could create, amongst this, the ability to have children, and learn to be a father or mother.

With the genetics of the seed in the fig tree, passing on the ability to have seed to Adam and Eve, their bodies changed, as did the earth, once the seed was passed on from their bowels to the earth, the earth then also changed, and did not reproduce in the same way spontaneously.

The animals however, not with the same godlike attributes of understanding as man, were given the herbs to eat, which already had seed in them, and were thus given the ability to multiply and replenish the earth, without transgressing.

The trees then also began to have seeds, thus fulfilling the scriptures in Moses as referenced above, in which fruits should, our shall have their seeds in them.

By disobeying God, and introducing sin into the world, this also brought eventual death. Not immediately, only because of the promise of the Savior our Redeemer, who is Jesus Christ.

Shane

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The True Definition of Agency

Understanding the Plain and Precious

The definition of agency is simply: The ability to do good.

It is a fruit of the Lord’s atonement.
There is nothing negative about it.
Everyone has Choice, even the adversary,
For he chooses how to carry out his purposes.
He wanted no agency, therefore he denied himself that privilege.
We all get what we want.

Let us all be better agents with our agency, to act, and not be acted upon.

Shane R. Brown

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Utah State Hospital Externship Report

Medical Office Administration

My three weeks externship at the Utah State Hospital was filled with a large variety of fun tasks and learning experiences. The places I worked included the records office, the main administration office, two different secretaries’ offices on the hospital units, the treatment mall office, and in the Occupational Therapy unit, which I must say I most poignantly enjoyed.

Throughout my experience, I quickly learned the value of working as a team, as I observed the various professionals integrate their assignments, and take lead where their field specialties took precedence. I also recognized the importance of the education they had, and how it aided them in carrying out their work.

The first day of my externship, I was required to attend a HIPAA training, to be sure that I was accountable to the standards of HIPAA, through the training they offered. After the training, I immediately went to the Records Office, where I was instructed by the office manager, about their policies, procedures, filling system, and good office management, among other things. The next hour I toured the administration building, learning about all the different office roles it takes to run such a facility, and was introduced to each person working there. Finally, I settled in to do some office work of my own. I started off by listening to a doctor’s own recorded audio notes, and transcribed them into a format of meeting minutes. This was fun. Before I ended my first day, I was shown how to use a business copier/scanner, which is a must to have in any office setting.

My second day of training for my externship, was also rewarding. It started with attending a morning meeting with a Doctor, Sociologists, Nurses, a Nutritionist, Recreation Therapist, etc. I had the opportunity of introducing myself and my school, and did so in a professional manner. The meeting was very educational.

Each patient was reported on, and their written requests were taken into account, and addressed. The entire team, known as the treatment team, talked about possible solutions to problems, and ways to help motivate the patients in their recovery. The hospital has a system of privileges, which can be earned, if a patient’s treatment plan is followed. The goal is to prepare each patient for their transition of leaving the hospital, so that when they leave, they have a support system to return to, which will help them not relapse, and return.

After the meeting, I went to the Records Office, where I inserted loose files into patient charts, which had been pulled to present important information before a court and judge. I also learned how to use their filing system, which was a numerical system, different than any system I had learned in my schooling. I liked it! I also had the unique opportunity to retrieve microfilm files. I looked up patient charts on microfilm, and imaged them onto hard paper copies. This microfilm was created for patients who had been at the hospital, before other technology means had been adapted to store such archived information.

The microfilmed archived charts were needed because of a court subpoena, and needed to be available for the judge and lawyers. I also had the opportunity to learn about the structure and order of paperwork within the patient’s records, as I took the loose papers, and inserted them into the proper places.

As it turns out, the hospital has most of their patient charts on E-chart now, which is an electronic file, but there are some aspects of the patient charts which are still documented with paper.

On the third day of my externship, I moved over to the Mountain View Unit Office, where I put together family correspondence letters, to inform patient family members of the patient’s clinical meetings. I addressed the envelopes, and filled in the proper patient information on each letter. The patient clinicals are where the patient meets with their treatment team, supportive family members, and can work with them on their treatment goals.  Medications, needs, special concerns are addressed then.

That day, I also had the opportunity to distribute mail into the various mail slots of the staff on that particular unit. Later, I updated the face sheets of patient’s charts for a dozen patient charts by printing out new ones, and replacing the old ones. Later, I laminated and put together patient orientation packets, which patients receive upon admission, orienting them about the basics and requirements, as well as rewards systems.

My fourth day was spent preparing paperwork in the records office. I counted out and stapled together sections of information which were subpoenaed, and needed to go to court. In total there were over one thousand papers with notes, with an average of 150 papers per section. I also pulled out pages from patient charts, copied them, and added the copies to the subpoenaed paper work, according to each patient’s second, third, and fourth admission. Then I returned the pages, and their charts. This was probably the most repetitive day, but I still enjoyed it.

On the fifth day, I again attended morning meeting, and then observed how a clinical list is set up. I also observed how notifications to the patient’s liaisons was completed. I again prepared family correspondence for the patient’s clinical meetings, and after that, checked to see if all patient hospital admission forms were up to date. If they were not, I replaced them with the correct and newest version. I then delivered the outgoing mail from the unit, and picked up the incoming mail.

I attended another team meeting, then attended a patient’s clinical meeting, which was very fascinating. After this I spiral bound adult service manuals to be used in therapy groups.

The next place of work for me came at the treatment mall, which is a place where groups are held to offer patients help with motivation, skill learning, education about aspects of mental health, and life enrichment. I worked in the office area, where I called the units to find out why a patient had missed a group, and thus keep track of where they are, to and from their groups.

While there I also had the opportunity to organize many loose manuals, packets, and other miscellaneous items which were in need of filing and organizing. I also updated the call list for the office manager of the treatment mall, using Microsoft Word, and formatted it according to his desire.

I had the opportunity to take the roll responsibilities for the treatment mall, counting up all the numbers of individuals who attended, and came up with a percentage.

On my final day, I had the very special opportunity to find out what career path I would really like to take, and do for a living. This was when I worked in the Occupational Therapy Unit. The first thing they had me do, was organize their closet, in which having done so, I got to see a lot of what they are all about. They do crafts, games, activities, gardening, sports, community outings, etc., all for the purpose of benefiting the patients, through providing positive outlets and self- expression, as well as helping to give themselves an identity outside of their mental and emotional health challenges. This not only helps patients build self-confidence and esteem, but also allows them to explore hobbies and interests, increasing their mental and emotional health through therapeutic means.

I was so intrigued with the whole aspect and process of this, that it rang true to me, and I realized like never before, that this is what I want to do for a living. Although this will take some time and more education, I feel this a great opportunity to learn and grow even more in my ability to help people. I would be truly happy doing a job such as Occupational Therapy.

As I have had this experience of my externship, I have truly come to love other people with mental illness(es), and the people who work diligently to serve them. I have found the path I would like to take in assisting them, and what I would truly enjoy. This has been a very meaningful, rewarding, and eye opening experience for me, and one lesson I have learned from my schooling and externship, is that if you are willing to do what it takes to be successful, even though the prospects are arduous, go forward, and you will find that the doors of opportunity will open for you, as you are in the process of striving to be better.

Shane

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The Creation, Creatures, Forbidden Fruit, and Fall

Whose Seed Should Be In Itself

On Eden, our Mother Earth, God created a paradise garden. He created vegetation, creatures, and one son and one daughter. The son He called Adam, and the daughter He called Eve. Eve’s name was significant, because she was created on earth, at the evening, or at the end of an old life, where we had previously lived with our Heavenly Parents.

Once on the earth, God and Jesus Christ, commanded the creatures to be fruitful and multiply, separately, and at a different time, than Adam and Eve’s commandment to be fruitful and multiply [and replenish the earth]. See Moses 2:22

If not so, the commandment given to the creatures, would have been void unto them, if it were to be contingent upon Adam and Eve’s decision to partake of the forbidden fruit, which did make their bodies capable of having seed (children).

The creatures also, were created whole and innocent, without the ability to have seed (offspring), like Adam and Eve, but they were made to eat the grass, herbs, and other forms of vegetation and plant life. They did not eat any other creatures, on the earth, in the seas, or in the sky.

The plant life, herbs, and vegetation, were created already with seeds in themselves, to reproduce after their own kind, but again, the creatures and mankind were not created thus.

The creatures were commanded to eat of the plants, herbs, and vegetation, and to multiply and replenish the earth, which they could do, having to eat the vegetation, already created with seed in itself, for in eating the seeded plant life, their bodies were then made able to have seed, or offspring.

Adam and Eve were instructed to eat of every fruit from every fruit tree in the garden, except for that of the forbidden fruit, which they were commanded not to eat from, as it was from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. This fruit tree was the only fruit tree with seed in itself already, and was none other than a fig tree in the midst. This tree, with seed to reproduce itself, did change the bodies of Adam and Eve also, in a way that they too could reproduce, but in order to have seed (children), they both needed to partake.

This being the case, all of the other fruit trees in the garden were not originally created with seeds in them, but were spontaneously created by God. See Moses 2:11 and 29 where it reads, as regarding the fruit trees of the garden, “…whose seed “should be,” and also, “shall be” in itself, meaning that the seeds were not in them yet, but would be, after Adam and Eve partook of the forbidden fruit, and caused the earth to change too. Thus this did also take place during the fall season of the earth, and was fitly named.

Upon Adam and Eve’s partaking of the only fruit tree in the garden which did have seed in itself (the forbidden tree’s fruit), their bodies were changed, in a manner in which their bodies could then begin to have seed and reproduce.

Because of their inherent knowledge as children of God, and knowing they should not partake of this fruit, as was commanded by God, and having partaken of this fruit, with the genetics of it passing into their bodies, the ability to have seed became a reality. Their bodies then became mortal, which introduced sin and death into the human cycle of life on earth.

The animals and creatures bodies were created from this same earth, but were without the same knowledge as given to mankind, and were to eat freely of the plants, herbs, and vegetation, which did already have seed in itself, and did cause the animals and creatures to have the ability to have offspring, without the same repercussions as Adam and Eve.

In other words, only Adam and Eve could have caused the fall, because of their being the divine seed of our divine Father and Mother in Heaven. With their inherent knowledge endowed, which came from their being the direct offspring of God, and so they were commanded not to partake.

Adam and Eve were only given to eat fruit, and not the herbs nor grain, until after the fall. They also had no knowledge to kill beasts before the fall, and with no need to harvest, nor eat by the sweat of their brow, they ate only fruit, because it was in abundance, and all that their bodies needed.

Since they originally were innocent, but had an awareness of the commands given to them by God, they were held accountable for their transgression, and once they had eaten from the fig tree, which had seed in itself, and their bodies changed, when their bowels released to the earth, its deposit of sin (or unhealthiness), they also now having a knowledge, the earth too was changed, and became fallen, wherein they were driven out of the garden of Eden, to till the earth, eat by the sweat of their brow, and shepherd flocks and herds to eat.

From that time on, they had to prepare the ground, be the stewards with the seeds which God’s good hand did provide them, and produce the fruit trees, and other food giving plants and herbs they now needed, to sustain their fallen bodies. Adam and Eve planted their fruit trees, instead of God continuing to create them spontaneously for them. Now, outside of the garden, they had to prepare the earth’s ground for planting, and also adjust to their fallen bodies, and new diet of animals, grains, herbs and vegetables.

Because God was not to bring death or sin into the world, as a righteous God, and by the standards of heaven, God had commanded Adam and Eve to not eat of the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of good and evil, but even so they did, in which the plan of salvation and happiness could be brought about. In other words, by having become aware of evil, along with the good, by disobeying a heavenly law, they now could have the opportunity to learn, learn through having children, and have the opportunities and the tests of life needed, to prepare them and us, to become more like our Father and Mother in Heaven. For by Adam and Eve came the fall, even so by the fall, came we into the world.

Shane

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The Psychiatric Medications Dilemma, and their Solutions

A Catch 22

When it comes to overcoming mental and emotional health deficits, it’s like a catch 22. For with having legitimate mental illnesses, and taking psychiatric medications, in order for one to really heal emotionally, so they can move forward, they would generally need to not have to take psychiatric medications. This, because with the drug induced disconnect, of having an unnatural high from taking medications, they would then not be able to emotionally connect with their emotions, to be able to feel them to heal. For to emotionally heal, one needs to feel their damaged emotions, and work their way through them, through a variety of therapies. On the other hand, if a mentally ill individual is off their medications, then they would not be in a healthy state of mind mentally, to do what would normally need to be done therapeutically, to emotionally heal, such as talk, or any other forms of effective therapy, to overcome these deficits. With legitimate mental illnesses like mine, meaning the physical brain has a chemical malfunction, no matter what the cause, be it stress, street drugs, or even being injected as I was, medications are most definitely necessary.

It is worth noting here, for further understanding of these medications, that a study done by the University of Utah, showing by scientific experiment, that the same areas and chemicals in the brain that are effected when one feels the Holy Spirit, are the same in the regions and chemicals effected, when one uses drugs, illegal, or otherwise prescribed (psychiatric drugs – which are a slow release version of such). The difference is, that one way is healthy, true and right, namely the Spirit, and the other ways are unhealthy, not normal, right, or ethical. In the case of mental illness need, as a consumer, I must do the next right thing, and that is to take my psychiatric medications, regardless of the disconnect.

Also, as a consumer of psychiatric medications, I feel it is always naturally harder for me to feel and have the needed love connections with others I desire, because of the medications, but with them, I have a much better opportunity, for with a more proper, stable state of mind mentally, I can still at least still be somewhat in the same ballfield as others, no matter how sundry I play my role. For by stimulating and altering my brain, even though it is not natural, I can at least begin to have some grounding beneath me to stand upon, to do so. Otherwise, I’d be a downtrodden mess, not even a spectator of the game. I take my medications very seriously, and though I don’t have the actual thing I want, I still choose, knowing better, the next right thing.

Now, because I have not had the seamless emotional connection route with others, this has consequently been a huge contributor to my sexual addiction, and also why I felt I never fit in with the Addiction Recovery Support Groups.

Also, the facts exists, that antipsychotic medications are made from the same sources and substances, as what unlawful drugs are made from, and many mentally ill people use street illegal drugs, to “self-medicate.” The difference is, these medications, which are strictly controlled, are actually made to be a “slow release” version of these same substances, and sometimes made to be combinations, or “cocktails” of them. Do not partake of any drug, unless it has been prescribed by Doctors as medications. This is very important.

Another factor, is that these drugs in their illegal use form, which send a person’s brain chemistry up way too high and fast, and then back down lower than before, are harmful to our brains, and the extremity of their effects are not healthy or good, and can actually cause mental illness problems.

I believe this injection would have killed me, except for the miracle I experienced, which only happened because I keep the Lord’s Word of Wisdom, which is the Lord’s health code with covenant promises from Him.

This injection happened when I was 17, and because of being around these demonic people who did this, I was programed and treated very negatively by them all growing up.

So, being all compounded, with all these worst-case scenario mental illnesses, brain damage, emotional baggage, plus having evil spirits having a more direct access to me because of the mental illnesses, having a thinner spiritual veil, where they could directly torment me, and all these combined in the very worst of ways possible, only the Lord knew, and could comprehend my lot and course, and what it would take for my recovery in life. Fortunately for me, with Him, anything is possible. And I mean everything!

It wasn’t until much later, under the direction of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, that I was healed of the brain damage, even to the understanding that I had even had it in the first place. For, a person who has brain damage, doesn’t know they have that ailment, because that part of the body which measures self-illness awareness, is the brain, and if it is not working properly, it cannot discern the challenges it faces.

After this brain damage healing miracle occurred, through a priesthood blessing, I became much smarter, more aware of things, more capable, and all around more intelligent, than I could have previously comprehended.

This miracle took place when I was 40 years old, as I was constrained by the Holy Spirit to finally ask for a priesthood blessing to heal my illnesses, for I had previously felt it was not God’s will to ask of this. I also thought the blessing was for the mental illnesses, not knowing about the brain damage.

In the blessing I experienced, something very interesting, miraculous and marvelous occurred, in this phenomenon of my brain damage healing, which is a story for another time. Nevertheless, this healing proved to be a life changer for my entire existence.

However, things did not play out in the way I had expected, for in the blessing were stated these specific words, “To stop taking the medications.” So I did, and I then had the experiences I will share here, which eventually led to me finding the solution, at least for me, of emotional healing, despite mental illnesses and Psychiatric medications.

For although the brain damage at this point was completely healed, I went off all my medications, and experienced the following, in which I found the solution to the problem of the Psychiatric Medications Dilemma for myself.

There is a solution, which I found spiritually, in the crucible of a very difficult experience. It was then, when I was off my medications for 3 months, which was the second and last time of going off my meds, which occurred in my mental health maintenance experience, each time lasting exactly 3 months, that this occurred.

The first time I was off meds, happened when I lost my medical benefits, and couldn’t afford medications. This literally happened because I married someone who is not “disabled.”

Now, during this second time of no medications, the Lord allowed me to see certain things spiritually, for with mental illness comes having a thinner spiritual veil, and being off my medicines, this veil is even thinner. I could also feel more certain parts of my emotions, because of not being on my medications, which would normally block them. And with God lifting me up, and sustaining me, somewhere in the middle ground, between my mental, spiritual and emotional health, I was in a place where I could function well enough, howbeit under very difficult circumstances to endure, being immersed in an enigmatic environment and experience, that I could thus be inspired.

During this duality of environments, both spiritually, emotionally and mentally, it created the proper laboratory of learning and revelation, which for me led to the miraculous blessings of emotional, spiritual and mental healing, all to the large degree which I experienced at that time. This was what I received at this time, following these specific instructions from the Lord, which I will describe here:

Picture this, say I was carrying some emotional baggage and pain in my body in my back, between my shoulders. The Lord would then take his atoning sacrifice experience, and apply his atoning blood and healing to me on the molecular level. Such as where there was a body cell of mine, carrying a grievance or sickness from a bad life experience or abuse, the Lord would then apply, cell to cell, His atoning blood and sacrifice, and l would truly be healed in that place, and in that way, both physical and spiritually, thus bypassing the need to talk about it, or have any other form of modern therapeutic processes.

Think of this in a multiplied manner, where many cells are addressed, and you can begin to see the real healing which took place. This is how the Lord worked in me, to help me heal more, emotionally and mentally, during this off-medicine experience.

Now when I did finally get back on my medications, after 3 months of not being on them, after God communicating to me in no uncertain terms, that I must get back on them, immediately, right then and now, I have seen a major difference in my improvement. For I am no longer emotionally tied down to the emotionally disabling baggage deficits I once had, and I am free to move forward.

For mentally, I was cognizant of, and could do much more, thus allowing me to be more successful in my life’s dreams and ambitions. It was a slow, uphill battle to return to being stabilized, but once returning to the medications, and since then, it has been an upward growth and trajectory path for me, and I love it. It’s not easy, but it’s worth every bit.

Because the brain damage is gone, and I’m also emotionally/mentally healthier, things are far, far better. I have discovered that I am smarter, wiser, and can comprehend and do much, much more than I ever could before.

Now, switching tracks back to these medications, which have to be strictly controlled, for an overdose of them will potentially have the same “high” effects as the “street” drug versions, but also be more deadly, because they are more potent. This is because they have more drug dosage in them, so they can last longer over a longer time period throughout the day. This is why people die when they “drug” overdose with these controlled medications.

Either way, illegal or controlled, these substances both have their negative effects on a person’s life. But at least for a person with mental illness, who when using controlled medications for their treatment, can gain sanity, usually minus having solid emotional connections with others. With mental illnesses, and having a lack of emotional self-connection, it makes it difficult to have healthy relationships with others, and all the other quantifiers which make recovery virtually happy.

With mental illness, all the very things needed to succeed in life are striped away, and blocked from life for good, without the hope of renewal. Unless, one travels on the road less traveled, and fights.

Let’s face it, interpersonal connections are needed, which if had, these friends and good relationships most always add to an individual’s mental and emotional stability, providing more strength to their recovery foundation, for the road of health they are traveling on. But this usually isn’t the case, and for the most part hasn’t been for me.

In my own circumstance, because I have full on legitimate mental illnesses, and in my own opinion, the worst of the worst, yet am doing the best of the best, the only way in which I can ever expect to fully experience a whole, full, and complete recovery and healing in this life, is if I were to continue on my medications, and work very, very, very hard, as I’ve been doing all along, while allowing God to carry and help me, and become as mentally and emotionally strong and healthy as I possibly can, that I’d be placed in a situation and position, where I’d be in the presence of the first presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and have their hands placed upon my head, and pronounce upon me a priesthood blessing of healing. That within this profound blessing would also be pronounced the words, to “Not ever again take medications.” Then I’d be healed and free! But until that happening, I will always take my medications. The only way I can see that ever happening for me, is if I was to be seated before the first presidency, as part of being set apart as a further covenant and ordinance, in that of being called to serve the Lord as an especial witness of Him, and no longer be limited, as a servant son of His.

So, if you can begin to understand my thinking on this subject of the Lord’s continuous revelations to me concerning His will over me in this matter. I’ve known about this calling since I was 14, before any actual mental illness problems ever evolved, but that’s another story.

I know that the things I’ve struggle with, the Lord knows, and He also knows and has a way of reconciling my trials, while strengthening and teaching me at the same time. Pretty awesome how He works. I’m very grateful for the medications, and happy to have to take this cross to bear, even if it is my only means to properly prepare me to bless the lives of many others, through the miraculous journey I’ve been on. I hope I can be an advocate in the future for folks, maybe by being a public speaker or keynote, or even some sort of advocate or facilitator.

Something I have been pleasantly made aware of, is that even though I have severe mental challenges, and have needs to take medications, I am still all here. Meaning, I am still Shane Robert Brown. Every part of who I am is with me. I am me, and am happy to be me. I am physically trying to live out my life spiritually, the best way I can and am.
One other thing to note, is that because I’m always on a somewhat drug induced high, it’s more difficult to recognize having the Spirit, because as before stated, the Spirit activates the brain in the same areas as the drugs do, prescribed or otherwise. Thus, the pull for people to utilize and sell illegal drugs is so high. Pun intended. They get the high, but without doing the work to get there.

But know also, that part of feeling the Spirit is also an emotional effect. For the Spirit speaks to our whole souls, both the heart, and mind. But the drugs only pull at the mind and brain, striping the sacred experience in half. This is why I feel so blessed to have been emotionally healed as much as I have, to be able to recognize this, and to have some of these sacred feelings restored. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Shane

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40 Years

Penitence

The other day I was talking with my Dad and Mom, discussing the church’s curriculum for this week for, Come, Follow Me. This we sometimes do at my Mom’s and Dad’s house, which I really enjoy very much. We talked about how the Lord told the children of Israel they couldn’t enter into the promised land, because Moses had asked God to spare them when He was going to destroy them for their abominations? It was because Moses had not provided them with the proper view of the sanctity of the Lord by doing so. Here is the verse in Numbers 20 explaining this.

12 ¶ And the Lord spake unto Moses and Aaron, Because ye believed me not, to sanctify me in the eyes of the children of Israel, therefore ye shall not bring this congregation into the land which I have given them.

One day of sin for them was to be counted for a year of wandering in the wilderness for the children of Israel, because of the severity of their abominations. 40 years in the wilderness for forty days. We also know that one thousand years our time, is a day unto the Lord, so in this regard, the Lord was being fair, time wise. Plus, the fact that they only lived so long, lines up perfectly with the divine plan of our Father in Heaven, for there is nothing random. As always, I love this kind of thinking, and I hope it’s also edifying for you.

So the Israelites may have been spared, but oh for such a time to repent in the wilderness, a total period of 40 years for the 40 days they misbehaved. 40 years of grueling penitence, for what time they may have enjoyed in the goodly land God had promised to give them for their posterity. Although their repentance may have made their 3rd estate (post mortal life) better, I would have liked to have avoided such a consequence in the first place! The things we do here count, and in a big way!

It ultimately comes down to a simple application of the gospel plan. Like my Dad and brother said, trust in the Lord, and obey His commandments.

Shane

2

The Animals Entered 2 by 2

Listen to the Lord

It was the Lord who individually chose, and spoke to each animal chosen to enter into the ark. However, Noah, the Great Steward of Refuge in the First Provocation, was to speak unto them as the conduit from the Lord, to the animals He so chose. The animals did so in obedience, to the command given unto them through Noah, the Great Patriarch.

It was the animal’s tendency towards being obedient and docile, that they were chosen, among other aspects. It was by prayerful righteousness, and the spirit of discernment, that Noah and his sons, the sons of righteousness, were able to go out among the species in their natural habitat, and bring them aboard from abroad.

For in those days, the earth was filled with violence, among men and also among the animals, which also had to be destroyed, but the righteousness were sparred.

Shane

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