With God, All Things Are Possible
Before the barriers between God, Jesus and me were removed, I carried the stresses of all those around me, starting at age 21, through means of being an absorber. This is as a result of having a poisonous substance injected into the roof of my mouth at age 17, by servants of the enemy, which caused four of the most severe of mental illnesses and brain damage to occur. Pre-accompanied by these, were traumatic psychological, physiological and abusive mind changing experiences I underwent at age 3, and 6.
From the time of the second abuse at age 6, to the event which caused this condition and phenomenon at age 17 in the first place, I experienced much negative “programming,” which caused me to learn and take on the ways of the adversary, to my dishonor and utmost personal shame.
Because of all the issues caused by this, I had, although unavoidably, put up barriers between me and deity, through choices as a child. Having suffered these when I was age three, six and seventeen. At age 6 I was told by the Holy Ghost from God that, “You are of utmost importance to my plan and kingdom here on the earth in these last days. If you allow me, I’ll make all these things better for you.” I then told Him, “But you weren’t there for me! Go ahead and try to do it without me!”
Several things occurred from these indignities. I later acquired the four major mental illnesses, brain damage and other majorly complicated, insane, disturbing, emotional disturbances and baggage, all in a contorted cocktail of difficulty, which compounded, and made life very difficult indeed.
With all of these things on top, plus the negative programming and mental illnesses, this made for a Satanic “lock,” and Godly “quest,” to somehow survive and begin to thrive, through all of these compounded struggles this caused.
But this wasn’t all. During the evil abuse at age six, which I was miraculously able to survive alive, among the several torture methods used during these ritualistic abuses, I had also been cursed with three majorly evil curses, which were only able to be removed during my two years of service inside the La Jolla, San Diego, California, Latter-Day Saint Temple, of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, during my two year service mission as a young adult, when I was age 24-26.
Also, having these four mental illnesses, evil spirits had a greater access to me, with the ability to harass and torture me directly, which they did so.
With all the previously outlined layers, emotional, physical, mental, social and lack of healthy outlets and life skills, plus the mental illnesses, plus these causing evil spirits to have a greater and direct access to me, all working against me in the very worst of ways, trying to recover was an all out war.
Life’s challenges were all compounded. Plus, I never had the connection of family or friends, because I was too much for them to relate to, so, I had God. All of these things twisted in the most horrendous of mixes, made life very difficult for me, although I was misunderstood by all, howbeit, I was the source of inspiration to my family, helping them to move on, regardless of how they felt about me. I prayed for them, and shared my light with them and worked with them to improve in their personal lives.
How? Because I had God. God stepped in and said, “This is My son, he’s not being taken care of. I will do it!”
God then came down from Heaven, and carried me out of personal destruction, and pulled me back to His light. He carried me in a wonderfully, powerful and amazing way, which is beyond mortal comprehension.
A little history of this instigating, Satanic “family’s” interactions with me:
Having been sucked into this “family” through their two boys, with fantasy and toys, and having been emotionally tied in to them because of the ritualistic abuse I suffered at age six, I tried to make friends with the enemy, thinking that in trying to fix them, I could also fix myself.
Not even remembering the abuse until I was at age 21, when my brain was more stabilized on medication, I had still felt that something was wrong, and this cycle of me trying to make myself well by changing them, is one of the reasons these cults abuse children this way in the first place. They know this phenomenon is very real, and it causes their “victims” to stay, and keep coming back to them.
Finally, at age seventeen, when my bishop told me he had angels speaking to him about me, I decided I needed to make the break away from them, still realizing that I was too much for my own family to handle, but seeing this as the better alternative for me, I did so.
Yet having been lured back over one last time to say goodbye at age seventeen, and to in and of myself show them that I was stronger than them, I was then knocked out through something they gave me in drink, and I was given through injection into the roof of my mouth, a poison which was intended to kill me.
Immediately on my way walking home, I felt my mind descend deeper and deeper, even until I arrived at home, wherein my mind was in utter darkness, even at all the resistance I tried to put up to stop it from doing so.
Since my recovery of life from age 21 until now, being the 24th of July 2020, I had in essence tried living for the Lord, without Him, a very hard road indeed, and this is how I’ve had to live and function, after the choices I made, to live a more separate life from God’s grace and relationship. For I hated God for what I went through, but He still helped me, despite this anger. It was the Lord I despised most, but He was also willing to help me anonymously, until I could love and forgive them both.
Because of this, and not having the coping resources, I cut off in measure, an open, clear and direct correspondence between God and myself. I’ve had to not only bear my own griefs and stresses, because of all I’ve been through, but also with this added type of separation, as well as my dilemma as outlined earlier, and because of other laws and influences which exist and that be in motion, both good and bad, I also had to, by means of my mental illnesses and thinner veil, bear the weight of all things, pertaining to God’s plan for me, and my role therein.
This, as well as of all those around me, as was stated, howbeit, Christ did carry me, even at the peril of my non-acknowledging relationship with Him. This at the bitterness of my own soul toward His, for at those times, I hated Him.
My help, although from Him, came at the hand of the Father, because I would not accept the Savior as a being in my life, but the Father I would.
As someone once explained it to me, this type of absorbing other’s stresses is a condition known as being an Empath, which I know I am. This has been an extremely exhausting, rough and unbearable road and route to go, but necessary for me somehow.
As of today, I have been changed and have forgiven my Savior and Father, for even though my life had to play out this way, even a tougher road than imaginable, I realize that I have been in the wrong, in not loving them, and have come to accept and love Them, regardless of the pathway they chose for me to tread, howbeit I chose to agree to this life.
This is, and can be a great blessing for me, and I would not have conceived it possible, but I’m glad that now that I’m in Their direct care, and not “my own” anymore, I can have inner peace.